Introduction

RS: Hi, this is Robin Sparkman, Wellesley class of ’91 and StoryCorps CEO. At StoryCorps, we believe in preserving and sharing humanity’s stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world. As a part of that vital work, we partnered with Wellesley College since 2015 to record over 50 stories with alumnae, students, faculty, and other members of the unique Wellesley Community.  Today, we’re going to hear three stories About making friends at Wellesley. The college is so well known for lifelong friendships. I hope you enjoy hearing these voices from the Wellesley community.

Tracey and Pam

TC: My name is Tracey Cameron.

PM: And I am Pam McNeil.

TC: This is your 35th anniversary. And I wanted to know, why Wellesley?

PM: I did not consciously choose to come to Wellesley College. I ended up graduating from a magnet high school with a focus in science and technology, and would often be one of a handful of girls in my math and science classes. And so I started experiencing some sexism in those courses. But, the entire time I was looking at colleges, Oberlin College was my first choice. Oberlin was attractive to me because of its long history as a diverse campus, and a place that was committed to the education of blacks and whites together. I applied to Oberlin, I applied to Wellesley, and I applied to Carnegie Mellon. I got into all of those places and I came here to Wellesley. And from the minute I stepped on campus, I was in awe. First, because I had gotten a lot of brochures in the recruiting process, brochures with all of these beautiful pictures of the campus. I stepped foot here, it was like, "Oh my God. It really does look exactly like in the brochures." So that was one of the first things that struck me, is the awesome beauty of the campus. But, from every encounter I had in that 24-hour overnight, I just met all of these women who were very diverse. And I got the sense that, you know, it just meant to me that if you come here, it doesn’t matter who you are, you’re not gonna be put in a box. You’re gonna be able to be, and grow into being, the woman that you were born to be. And so, I got off the plane when I returned back home to D.C., I literally told my Dad, I don’t know what you’re gonna have to do to make it happen, but that’s where I’m going.

TC: What about friendships? What are your memories there?

PM: The first day of school, there’s a lunch on the President’s Lawn that was part of the orientation for first year activities. And so, I’m at this huge thing with more than 500 of my classmates, and I’ve run into this young lady, her name was April and she came from Los Angeles. And it turned out we were in the same dorm. And so, we became fast friends, and... almost, I wouldn’t say inseparable, but we spent a lot of time doing things, supporting each other, during the four years, and we have been friends ever since. My freshman roommate was very different from me. She was extremely introverted, extremely shy. She became my shadow probably for the first six months, and she went everywhere with me. She was not a woman of color and people would always ask me, "Well, who is she and why is she here?" I’m like, "That’s my shadow; that’s my freshman roommate."

TC: Yeah.

PM: But, she blossomed eventually, you know, and became a journalist, and lives in Washington, and so we have maintained a friendship for those, what? 39 years I guess it’s been. I just had friends that ended up everywhere, lifelong friendships.

Evelyn and Anne

EG: My name’s Evelyn Gough. I’m 70 years old. I’m speaking with Anne Damsgaard who was my roommate and college classmate for the four years at Wellesley.

AD: I’m Anne Damsgaard. My age is 71. When I first came to Wellesley, I had never been been away from home for even one night, so I actually was quite homesick, but I remember meeting you the very first day and we had such a great friendship right from the beginning. That was a very significant effect in ameliorating that aspect for me.

EG: We seemed to have an ability to chat and talk with each other so easily right from the beginning.

AD: and then after college, I remember we could have three hour phone conversations without any problem at all. So it was a very easy and natural relationship right from the beginning.

EG: Well we had a ritual of actually gathering after dinner, of having a coffee, listening to music. I remember so fondly of listening to "Camelot" umpteen million times.

AD: Right.

EG: And then, sometimes with other friends from down the hall, most often, and then breaking up and going off to our individual studies. And that was a required ritual. It gave us the way to get through the night.

AD: Right. It was really fun. I remember doing that and it just was a nice bonding time, and we could talk about anything. We could talk about the politics of the day, or frustrations with school, or anything. It was almost a little bit like a family having dinner together. It was a chance to chat about your day and what you were thinking about.

EG: I knew that Ann came from the Northeast and I came from Long Island. So, we had some common bonds. We knew the geography of the area. We weren’t too far from home. And then later we discovered we had many deeper ties. Unexpectedly I learned the her father had come from China and his family had been four generations in China, where my parents came from and that was something we learned a lot more about a time went one and it gave us another level of bonding, which I think has helped. And surprisingly, or not, even our children our close, which you don’t expect because you don’t influence that at all. But they’ve had a chance to meet each other and they’ve become good friends. So, that’s very nice to see happen.

AD: That’s true. It was such a special thing to just be able to just develop your relationships with women and really enjoy other women and they were so remarkable.

EG: And I think there’s still, in modern America, maybe internationally, a kind of confidence gap between men and women and as long as that remains, I think all women’s education really is a very good way of addressing that for many women.

Ann and Maude

AR: My name is Ann Clark Rockefeller-Roberts, and I am from the class of 1956.

MC: And my name is Maude Chaplin, I’m 80 years old, and I’m talking with my former roommate. I went to a public high school in New Jersey, I went to Wellesley College thinking I was going to meet all these women who were interested in art, and literature, and ideas. And this was actually the day of registration, I was filled with anticipation, standing in line, looking at all these, we called them, girls, then. And I probably looked somewhat reserved, because I’m a shy person.

AR: I was doing the same thing, filled with anticipation, and excited to be there, and I’m curious, and also feeling shy, and protective of my family name, which sometimes caused discomfort from other people. Then I saw this tall, graceful woman, so I kind of sidled over and said, "Oh, that’s a beautiful piece of driftwood. Where did you find it?" And then we just fell into conversation, and our sophomore year, we became roommates, and we were roommates throughout.

MC: We met each other, and there was an initial connection. And there was another one too, which I didn’t really appreciate at the time, but you did tell me later. You introduced yourself as Ann Rockefeller, you had to. I mean, that was your name, and I said immediately, "Oh, that’s the name of my postman!"

AR: Which means you saw me.

MC: Right.

AR: That Rockefeller was just the name of your postman.

MC: Right, exactly.

AR: Which is fantastic!

MC: I could see relief or something,

AR: Yes.

MC: Coming over your face. But what really got us together, I think, was, we both were interested in those who didn’t have the opportunities that we had. The less fortunate in this world, and what can we do about it.

AR: Yes.

MC: And we were both very interested in that, all the way through Wellesley.

AR: I found, being in a woman’s college, where you weren’t either competing with men all the time, or trying to get a date,

MC: Right.

AR: I found it absolutely wonderful.

MC: We had good years at Wellesley, I mean my memories are almost all good. I will tell you one story on you, you met your future husband in England, and you were smitten, and he was at seminary in Wisconsin.

AR: Episcopalian seminary.

MC: And so you used to go out to see him every weekend that you felt you could. And you came back from one weekend, and we were walking together to class, and I said, "Ann, we’re going to have a quiz today on Don Quixote." And you said, the 1950’s equivalent of "oh my God. I haven’t read it yet.” So I very quickly told you what it was about, so we took the quiz, and you got an A-, and I got a B+. I was very bitter about that.

AR: I would imagine.

MC: But our friendship survived, yes.

AR: I have had several lifetime friends. The most close one being you. Most loyal.